The Sounds of Silence.

It’s Memorial Day, a day we remember, we honor and celebrate those who gave their lives so we can grill, drink beer, eat pizza, or what ever you choose to do.  I worked today.  I tried to remember what I was doing one year ago today.  I was covering a story about a soldier who had been killed in the line of duty just the day or two before.  I remember it because it was the first story I did with our newest reporter.  I showed up to work covered head to toe in paint.  You see we (I was married at the time) were remodeling the kitchen.  We had just gotten new counter tops and decided to paint the walls and sell the house.  It was to be the beginning of something new.  Little did I know what fate had in store for me.

Here I am a year later, sitting in an apartment eating pizza and drinking some beer.  I got home at 6:33pm.  Walked to the mail box, took a call from a close friend who is going through some struggles, picked up my front room, did laundry, dishes, made my bed, and searched for something to do on this Memorial Day night.  Most everyone is gone from the lake and they are trying to prepare for the hangover that was this weekend.  Not necessarily because they drank to much, some did don’t get me wrong, but because after a long weekend, you need a day to recover.  Some spent the day helping in tornado ravaged areas because that’s what they do.

I would have made plans, but my work schedule has never allowed me much of a social life.  So I found some comfort sitting in my dad’s recliner covered up with a blanket watching The Big Bang Theory eating Little Caesars pizza and drinking Amber Bock dark beer.  After I had watched about 4 hours worth of tv, I sat up and listened to the sounds of my apartment.  Clocks ticking, refrigerators refridging, the flag dancing in the wind out side the window, i listened to the little noises that I have heard before but never realized, my apartment was full of sounds I never quite paid attention to.  I picked my phone up scrolled through the contacts searching for someone who might be up and want some company or vice versa, I settled on no one.  Yeah I chose this one tonight folks, but it’s tough I am making decisions that I never thought I would be forced to make. I am leaving a career that I have been successful in and hate to leave, but I have to do it so I can be with my kids.

So this is the picture of alone.  A semi overweight 35 year old guy sitting in his dad’s recliner who just had some pizza and beer looking for something to do on a Monday night because his friends already made plans or friends from church abandoned him.

I really don’t have anything to say here, I am just putting my thoughts down…part of me wants to go sit at a bar just so I can be around people but that ends at 1:50 in the morning.  The other part of me just really wants to go to bed.

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