In The Boat

It’s a weird thing.  People spend time cultivating friendships, putting effort into others, time spent, paying attention to little things, sending texts, letters, what ever the case, there is always one person who puts more into a friendship than the other.  I often wonder how many guys or girls are out there perpetually giving encouragement, being that person, taking the hour out of their day to make sure someone else has a good day.  Selflessness.  They devote time and energy into making sure the other person is a little more complete of a person whith out regard for their own time, well being, sometimes even health.  So what is it that makes people want to do this?

Is it a need to feel loved?  Is it a need to feel like they are contributing to something better?  What is it?  I haven’t figured this one out.  Probably wont.  What I know is that so many people do what their parents taught them to do.  I do that one thing that I learned in church growing up.  Now I am not a perfect Christian…oh far from it. There is one thing I think I do pretty damn well (not to toot my own horn) and that is love unconditionally.  Ever since I was a teen, I fell victim to the pretty girl with problems.  I am a fixer…I am a tinker…I will try to fix things, people, faucets that drip, tears that fall etceteras, that is my kryptonite.  Now I am not claiming to be Superman, I am me.  I see a problem, I attempt a fix.  Its one of those things that I learned from dad.  No matter how bad I screwed up, he always gave me a hug after he kicked my ass, and told me he loved me.  Hopefully I am passing that on to my girls.

I’ve come to the conclusion that one person can’t save his or her friends.  People who choose to drown away from friends are where they can’t be rescued.  When they decide to come up for air, the friend is always in the preverbal  lifeboat with arms out ready to give a hand and pull them into said boat.  What happens when that boat is overtaken by the waves and “old faithful” gets knocked into the water and the friend who was drowning is finally able to pull themselves to safety?  That person is so desperate for air, that they don’t realize who isn’t in that boat with them.  Let me be clear, I am not in danger or drowning…I am treading water.  I can tread for a while but it would really be nice for someone to grab me and at the very least put my hands on the boat so I can at the least hold on and go for the ride.

All symbolism aside, people need to learn how to respond to true friendship these days.  People are used to being let down.  Few people have those life long friends they trust.  Giving back in a friendship is a critical part of being a friend.  It goes two ways because empty friends are just that, empty.  They have nothing left to give or it becomes more difficult to give anything because for the hundredth time, that person has been let down.  However somehow, they find it in them to muster up strength and courage to put it all on the line for the 101st time.  Hoping their friends will return the favor, even if the return is only a fraction of what has been given.


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