364 Days Later…

A friend challenged me to list my 10 things that I learned from my divorce, which will be one year tomorrow.  I was in the middle of a move so I waited till I could gather my thoughts and try and list these 10 things.  The truth be told, it’s a challenge to list things that you have never really thought much about.  I looked back through my ramblings and writings through this last year and determined that I was really in a dark part of life.  I had a post recently on the Facebook, yes I refer to it as “the Facebook”, in which I said that it was good to be me.  It is in fact.  I made  some decisions to reclaim “me” over this last year and never really knew who “me” was.

Like my friend, I don’t think I was able to effectively write or talk about my the end of my marriage because I spent a lot of time kicking me for feeling like a failure.  After all my parents had a strong marriage, my aunts and uncles do to…”Why me?” I kept wondering and asking myself, and shockingly, I never answered.  So that being said 364 days after the judge said you are no longer one but two, I give you my 10 things about me.

1)  I will no longer spin my wheels on relationships/friendships that are headed towards a brick wall.  I have recognized a few of these and frankly, they weren’t good for me.
2.)  I am stronger than I thought I was.
3.)  Depression revealed in me a very dark side I had no idea existed.
4.)  No one, but me, gets to take away my happiness.  I have to make decisions daily to defend my joy.
5.)  Being a parent is much more rewarding than I could have ever thought possible.  (I made a career move that allowed me to be with my kids more.)
6.)  The people who are most likely to stab you in the back are the ones closest to you so always be aware of your surroundings.
7.)  There is absolutely nothing wrong with a grown man crying.  Especially tears of joy.  Emotions are a very real part of our lives, if we don’t embrace them, then what’s the point in having them.
8.)  I have become a better son, grandson, and father.
9.)  Freedom still requires some level of self control.  I can absolutely indulge, but that indulgence may not be the best thing for me.  Being home a decent hour is one of these things that I learned.
10.)  Faith that God will bring me through the toughest times regardless of my current standing with him.

 

bd

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