The Art of Being a Nice Guy
There are things that I am reminded of as I get older. I have to actually plan to go see the doctor for regular check ups, I will need to do laundry to make sure I have clean underwear and socks for work, and the things my dad told me will always ring true. Like most men my age, I carry plague. I am eternally the nice guy. I always have been. I tried to be an asshole once, it didn’t suit me. I asked my best friend a very direct question tonight, and that was what is it that makes me attractive. I am not vain and find myself to be ordinary, my Mom will disagree (she will say I am handsome, because moms are supposed to say that). Becca’s response to me was the thing that is most attractive is the same thing that keeps me in the friend zone. I am that guy that people can lean on. I am that guy that will always be there. If you text me at 2 am and say I need something, more than likely (if I don’t have my kids) I will roll myself out of bed and run get what ever it is. That is how I am, I can’t change that about me. It wasn’t the answer I was looking for.
I asked another friend of mine the following question, “What is it about women that makes them want assholes?” She didn’t know. I still don’t know. Women will say that they want a nice guy, security of knowing their guy won’t leave them, the list that only an Eagle Scout could produce on a consistent basis is read aloud by said female. However, what I have observed is when that guy is standing clearly in front of them, they over look him because he is (and presumably will be) always there. Keep in mind this is not JUST my life I am writing about, I have seen this numerous times from my guy friends who are stellar individuals and want nothing more than to give the love they have away. Only to be placed in the friend zone and passed by despite their best efforts to gain the attention of the women they are attracted to.
It’s very frustrating.
Rant over….I have nothing to add or subtract to this, however it’s open for discussion. There isn’t a good way to close this out because the game is always being played. It’s evolving and both parties change the rules. The art part of being the nice guy is that we always are painting. Washing the brush, erasing the mistakes, and making improvements that are often unnoticed until that moment when the light bulb comes on and the woman sees that nice guy and past his average looks and sees his heart. By that time though it’s often too late. He’s gone.